Remember...

How months ago I said I had to take Gabriel to a dentist in an other town? Well it's been 6 months and we are going on Tuesday. Can you believe he has had a cleaning again before he had any work done on his filling and now he has a 'few' more cavities that need to be looked at. He has my teeth and that is not a good thing :( At least we know where it came from. So big day in other town planned??? Not exactly not yet at least. Michael is going to stay in this town, go to school and go home with friends while Gabriel and I go just the 2 of us. So far my plans include but are not limited to: Old Navy, The Bay (hellokitty), the dentist and uhm ya that's about it. I don't know my way around in the other town so that's on my list of things to do next...mapquest and plan. I would love to have some adult company to come with me but alas I don't see that happening since my bf is looking after Michael and has her own kids she can't come on a little day trip with me. Any other bf's are employed or not in this town :( Any suggestions? Remember this visit to this Dentist is only the consultation...no actual work gets done...we will be making more trips to this dentist if he can deal with my good kid getting fillings. Also note that this is not covered by our most excellent extended benefits; the work will be but the consultation will not be...nor will the gas or the time or the other monies be 'expense-able'.

roller coaster brain ride

I'd rather be on face book, because at least on there I am not running the risk of blurting out all kinds of stuff for anyone to read. Mind you, most of fb could find me here if they wanted especially since the pictures don't work there for mew and I have to send people here. So having said all that (which I think amounts to NOTHING) I am going to make an effort at an actual post.

• The sky is blue but its snowing again
• I had a parent teacher interview for Gabriel and she says 'he is polite, attentive and interested' she also said 'when other kids are doing something they shouldn't be and they want him to join he doesn't' (ps I know which friends these are). This makes me burst with pride.
• I was going to help in the class this week but got a very nasty sick and didn't. Gabriel now has that sick and isn't at school today.
• My kids haven't driven me totally nuts with badness this week and I wish it were this way always.
• I know Flo is reading the above and shaking her head saying they are never bad. :)
• There are all these silly 'random things' on face book and they encourage me to have wandering thoughts.
• The parent having the interview before mine with the teacher has issues and I have opinions about that. (f* that says next to nothing...but I am afraid of a rant)
• I signed Gabriel up for Gymnastics again
• I signed Michael up for swimming since that's what he chose
• Someone asked if I regretted moving here...I try not and bother with regret it is a waste of energy, I know that we are better off here I just get down sometimes. It may have even been this way before we moved just magnified now by the move.
• I wish I could have a friendship with someone, but when I try I get a blank vacant expression from them which makes me stop trying which is upsetting because in my imagination we should really be at least 'girl friends' which we aren't
• I have more laundry than I know what to do with and never anything to wear...how does that work?
• I think this has turned into some kind of post secret confessional type post, which wasn't my plan but since we're on the subject I'm going to keep going
• I am 30 years old and someone has me terrified of menopause, I'd rather DIE than be as psychotic as that
• I feel kinda bad for saying that and at the same time kinda good for getting it out there
• I wonder if that'll generate any comments???
• I think that's enough for now, since it's more than I planned

The Hair cut

Before: it doesn't seem to matter how many pictures I take I still look retarded ... I am over it enjoy them all!

And after...still retarded but with way better hair. Notice I also got my brows done this week. Don't notice how badly I could use a facial.

p.s. ignore the child who wants in on the action

I feel like crap and it's snowing and I really haven't got the time/energy to blog. I definitely have winter blahs except that it really shouldn't be this wintry. Which just makes it worse.

my mom

Made a cool hat and glove thingies for me.

Please excuse the face I am making. I used to look good in pictures and now I hate them all. hmmm I also know why, and I am not talking about it today thank you very much.

Chain mail

A friend of mine has this on her blog and I thought it sounded like fun. So this is how it works: The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a handmade gift from me during this year. When and what will be a surprise.* Be sure to email me your address: elmowilky@hotmail.com
There's a small catch...You knew there would be didn't you? Post this on your blog then come back and leave a comment, telling me you're in. Fun, huh? Remember, only the first 3 comments receive a gift. If you don't have a blog, you can still be one of the first three.

I like to give and I like to receive...I am terrible at hand-made but I can do a nice random gift that says I am thinking of you :)
This is a 'fluff' post to break up the monotony of miserable-ness.

blah blah blah I feel blah....Just waiting to get my motivation back. Hoping it comes to me. Don't even have pictures to share. Mom will be here tomorrow. blah.

I need to shower but I made the mistake of turning the dishwasher on first and now I am waiting for hot water. I am not going to go do the stuff on my list until I have a shower. I don't like when mornings are slow. I like to get stuff done and then chill at home. Busy afternoons are not so good for me. blah

It's late

Yep, 10:30 is late for me. I should go to bed but I am having all kinds of thoughts that are keeping me up.
They say that in friendship what you give out is what you get back. Or something like that just more eloquently worded. I know that I am not half the bitch I used to be and yet I am marvelling at what I have done to deserve such wonderful supportive people around me. At the mention of the remote possiblity to leave town on someone else's emergency I had a friend offer to come and look after my kids and even run the ticket booth where I am to be stationed at the fun fair at the school tomorrow night. When I told her I was supposed to be volunteering; She said it so simply 'I make a pretty good volunteer'. No big deal. For you anything. Thanks. Not barely a a second thought really. Honestly I don't think there was a second thought for her. Just like for me to go out of town on someone else's emergency was not a second thought. I am available whatever it takes for you.
In any case I am not as of yet going out of town on any emergencies.
When you are at a complete loss of words for someone how do you comfort them? Hallmark failed to make a card for such occasions. Anything with deepest sympathies doesn't even begin to describe it. On the receiving end of these thoughts and cards how does one feel? I have never been on that end either (Thank god). Would you want the cards the calls the worry that others are having for you? Do you want people to act normal as if nothing had changed? Or is it rude to go on as though things remained the same when obviously they are different? A care package in the mail with a note saying nothing for fear it will be too much or too little? A valentine with Kung-Fu Panda on it saying 'be legendary valentine!' or 'fulfill your greatest dream valentine!' oh no wait that would never do fulfillment of that dream can't even be spoken of since it was so close and taken away.
What do you do when you are friends with a person in a relationship, then get to be friends with their significant other, then they break up? The first one is never going away, the significant other is new to you and you like them but if they aren't going to be with the other you can hardly see the friendship working out. I can't advise them to stay together for me because it's more convenient... that doesn't sound selfish!?! ha lol. They aren't even that good together. The one that will never go away (in this case) doesn't seem to be pulling their relationship weight...if you know what I mean.
Arrrggghhh at least I got it out. Not really looking for answers...unless you have good ones.

Things

Are all over the map, literally. Happy sun shine day with friends today. Busy day tomorrow. possibly big plans for next weekend. I feel like I have A.D.D. or something I can't keep it all straight and focused the way I like. not even on here, which adds to the frustration factor.

mood

The mood isn't grumpy anymore. But I can't write a proper post because I can't. If you know why, then you know. And if you don't then just know that I am consumed with a great sadness for a close friend.

Registration

I just signed Michael up for next year's preschool. I just wrote a stack of cheques too. I am kinda stoked he gets to go 3 days a week! What will I do with myself then???
More posts brewing just waiting for a better mood.

me time

Do you get enough of what is considered 'me' time?
Do I?
Am I using it to the most me advantage?
I don't think I am using my valuable 'me' time for 'my' purposes as much as I could/should. I am going to straighten this out.
There's other stuff in there too but I am working with baby steps...and I have to go take kid to school and have lattes with a friend.