Monday April 27

So we went to the dentist in K. There are so many starting places to this story that I really don't know which one I should start with.

We got the first appointment in the morning at 7:45 which meant that unless we wanted to wake the whole family up at 4:30 (and not feed Gabriel) that we had to find somewhere closer to spend the night. We spent the night in M, which saves us about 45mins driving time. Michael also spent the morning in M as he was not to come to the appointment with us; that much was made very clear by the dental office.

We got up at 5:30 and left M around 6:10, we arrived in K at about 7:30. Gabriel watched Transformers videos in the back of the van with his dad on the way there.

We went into the office which was very quiet. A nurse Ida, greeted us and brought us into the first 'exam room'. Ida asked us a bunch of questions about Gabriels health to ensure that he was in optimal shape for the procedure. Then she gave us a piece of paper with a list of side-effects and 'what-ifs' about the sedative, then she came back and gave Gabriel a drink. It was the first sedative and some advil. He said it tasted disgusting but he was a champ and drank it because we told him he was a champ and could do this. After that Ida told us to please keep Gabriel in the dental chair with both of the arms down so that he didn't fall off the chair in case he got sleepy. (uhm okay lady...this kid can hardly sit still he is so excited and nervous and hungry and curious about the posters in the room, but sure we will work on that). He did not appear to get sleepy, we were reading a book about dinosaurs and he seemed to be his usual self then, he seemed a bit more 'amplified' like he had had 3 drinks (alcohol) or hyper or something like that. After a while the dentist came in and we had a little chat, he went away and Ida came back this time with a wheelchair. We loaded Gabriel into the wheel chair and buckled him up (again in case he got sleepy and lost control of himself). Ida then wheeled him down the hall and we said see ya later buddy. We did not go into the other room.

We went back into the waiting room where Chris decided it was time for a walk and more coffee. He went to get coffees and I stayed. When he came back a sign had been put on the door saying 'no food or drink' well that seemed obvious to me since it's rude a hell to eat in front of kids who have been fasting, but coffee? The receptionist said that would be ok.

Sometime in there Ida poked her head out to get the next kid and mentioned to us that Gabriel had done great he was chatting away about gymnastics and didn't even notice the needle go in. * I forgot to mention that at 7am we put EMLA cream on both of his hands which is a topical anesthetic so that his hands wouldn't feel much of anything*

Around 10-1015 someone came to get us, told us that Gabriel was sleeping now and would be waking up sometime within the next half hour. We came into the room where he was sleeping, in a dental chair, lying down. One sock and shoe off so that the pulse oxygen thingy could be on his toe, an Oxygen mask over his face and a steady beep beep beep of the heart rate and blood oxygen level monitor. Honestly not quite what I was expecting. They said he needed the O2 for some reason or other I can't quite remember but it made sense to me. They told us that kids who sleep longer and wake naturally tend to be in a better mood than ones who are woken earlier and let him sleep just sit there with him. The dentist also mentioned that Gabriel had been a little wiggly at the beginning and is a very strong willed boy.

Less than 10 minutes later he stirred, he tried to pull the IV out of his hand and swipe the mask off of his face. He was awake and UNHAPPY. He was mad that they had Velcro-ed him to the chair, his mouth hurt, he was hungry, couldn't we just go home now, can we go to the toy store on the way, get this stuff off of me I don't need it anymore! I held his had to keep him from reefing on the other hand with the IV we tried to get him to calm down, we started explaining that once he is calm they will let us leave. At this point I had had 2 Cups of coffee and a piece of white bread toast to eat, the office was getting warm form the sun in the windows and I had been up for nearly 6 hours already. I was feeling weak. I started to feel a bit dizzy, light headed and overall woozy... I was holding it together in the interest of my child but only barely and with my head down. Someone came in to ask if one of us could come and pay the bill so that when Gabriel was ready to leave we could just go without having to make him wait any longer. I took that opportunity to gather myself and have a glass of water. I paid the $1170.00.
(for those of you who need to know) $1170.00 At this dentist buys you the following:

Topical Fluoride
IV Sedation 6Units
Sealants x3
Comp perm mol acid etch 2
Comp prim Post acid etch (x2)
Cr Prim Post acid etch

If you don't know what this means don't feel bad we aren't all versed in dental lingo...it means 3 fillings, a cap, sealants and major sedatives.
Upon returning from paying the bill Gabriel was doing much better although still wanting to get up and go. They had removed his IV and the pulse thingy. I put his sock and shoe back on him. Kung Fu Panda was playing on the TV, so he was slightly distracted. They came back and said he could leave but would have to take a the wheel chair to the car.
A girl, wheeled Gabriel out while Chris and I walked with them down to the van where he got in, I got in the back with him and away we went.
After 2 blocks he saw a Toys R Us and wanted to stop there to spend the 10$ he had in his pocket that Grandma had given him for being brave (she gave him the money before we left). We did not stop, it was not ok with him. He was not ok to do anything other than watch a movie in the back of the van, or sleep. We watched more Transformers episodes.
There is more that happened but it was nearly a week ago and I have been trying to complete this post for days so I am going to leave it at this...It was an awful day, he has all but forgotten about it but I am traumatized.

Yesterday

I really want to write all kinds of delightful little stories about the last little while including yesterday however I am still tired from it and more traumatized than Gabriel is. I have told a couple of people over the phone and in the school yard and unfortunately for you that means you will have to wait a bit longer until I post it. For now know that we are all fine, and I will leave it at that.

Pictures

Just thought I would put up some pretty pictures for you.

My life...or lack thereof

"Think about how much time you spend on the Internet, now imagine all the other stuff you could get done"
I think I am being asked to change something here. I don't think I am ready for that. I think it will happen when SUMMER gets here instead of this winter town BS. I think I need a support group...but no one is out there you are all cured of the need to be online at all times. You even blogged about your changing habits...and I thought hmm maybe I should try that too. Except not now. This is my outlet. This is my connection to friends (all except a few who have day jobs and no kids so they can't hang out anyways). This is reading the paper and drinking my morning coffee. This is my quiet space. This is my sanity (or insanity).
What would I really do? Clean more? Ha! I don't think so.

torn

So I bought these strawberries at the store yesterday and it was a gigantic amount and upon inspecting and cleaning them, preparing them to be stored (fridgesmart Tupperware) There was not a mouldy one in the bunch. Yay me! right? Well sure but they just aren't as sweet and juicy as the last batch. They are kind of blah. I suppose they have the same benefits...just not as yummy. :(
So are they worth it? I don't know...I'm torn.

I have been planning to post something new for what feels like forever but I got carried away with life. I have pictures to post and an office to clean before a meeting at home this evening. I also have baseball spring training for Gabriel all morning. SO...that means everything will get done right? Blogging is lower on the list that usual these days.

Potentially controversial subject matter

This is one of those blogs today...look out I say what I'm thinking and the censorship is minimal if at all.....
So, you know how there are certain things that you do and that's just the way you do them and it's not like you put a ton of thought into them and now that's how they happen every time? Sometimes it's on purpose and sometimes it's an accident and after a while you start calling it tradition, even if it is stupid or there is a better/nicer/easier way for things to happen.
I aim to be completely aware of what I am doing in the ways that I parent and interact with my children. I am a stay at home mom for this reason. I am making decisions and choices and seeing the results (or consequences). Just because it's my aim doesn't mean it's something I have mastered or even come close to getting right with consistency. I have bad days and good days. I have a temper and little patience (but way more than I did before kids).
By now you are wondering where I am going with this right? I am kind of wondering that too...
3 things fall into the accidental tradition/that's just the way it's done category that are on my mind right now. Christmas specifically Santa, Easter the Bunny chocolate, and Grandparents.
Christmas... why does Santa a fictional character get all the credit for the best/biggest gifts that my kids get...and their stockings. What I am saying is that he gets all the love and thanks for these amazing carefully thought out gifts that usually cost more, but I did all the work... the money came from my bank account I am the one who went to the store on my alone time to do this. This seems backwards to me and I think the consumerist society in which we live nudges me that way every year... This year it was very apparent to me and I didn't like it. Half of what my kids got for Christmas is in my room because they have too many toys and I confiscated it. It was very close to the 25th when I came to the realization and there wasn't much to be done about it and Christopher and I couldn't come to an agreement on what was to be done about it...if anything. So we let it go and gave them everything and it now resides in my closet space. What sense is there in that? $60+ worth of 'gifts' just in a bin in my room. Now I know that that's not how it's going down next time, and I know that the 'overbuying' was me so I can stop that. But I am already tired of the Santa lies every year and Gabriel isn't even 6 yet. Just in case some of you out there don't know or hadn't realized, we are not a religious family and we will not be bringing Jesus into our Christmas traditions anytime soon, so please don't even think about suggesting that. I am not 'going there' on my blog and it really isn't anybodies business but mine what I believe, why and what I am going to pass on to my kids. However you should also know that we have talked about how some people believe that there was a guy named Jesus and he was born in a manger etc. There is no connection to relate that to decorated trees in the living room with loads of gifts under them. There just isn't.
Easter, is virtually the same except slightly worse because it's all chocolate and candies. And the lies begin again about a bunny that hops around hiding eggs...wtf??? Bunnies don't even lay eggs, they don't come from eggs where did the connection to that come from? There isn't one. Not to mention that I let these strangers in my home to do these things, hiding eggs and stuffing stockings...while we are all asleep no less!!! At least with Easter I don't spend as much rotten money (that I haven't got). And again about Jesus, although I know that he was crucified and rose out of his tomb. I don't think it's a story for my kids and I would bet my 7 years of marriage and 12 years of relationship that my husband doesn't really think they should hear it, since they have no context for it...how does that relate to days off school and ginormous bunnies with chocolate? NOT RELATED...not at all. Anyways we have 'traditionally' had an egg hunt here at home in the morning and even gone to a park to get more chocolate than we can handle later in the day. At home we do manage to keep it small but the eggs are still filled either chocolate or candy which my kids and I don't need or small toys that break shortly after assembly. Also it's not 'fair' that Michael can't find eggs as well as Gabriel can, so he gets less...oh wait he's younger why should he get as many? We did not go to a park and meet a bunny this year or dig for foil covered chocolates that were tossed in the grass. There is no photo of them at the mall with a bunny either (I don't think this town had that, but I don't know since I rarely make it to the mall). Do you see my problem here? It's all wrong!!!
I personally have an issue with these 2 holidays and am not sure what to do to stop some of these things that surround them. *** just about me*** these early morning gift openings/egg hunts are not cool...they start early without coffee or a shower and the camera is videoing or snapping pictures where I look and maybe even sound like a miserable bitch, in mis-matched pj's and no bra. That part of it I think I can change though, with some work on my husband.
Grand-parents... are not people that you can control, they don't listen well to you because they used to be on charge of you and the role change is an adjustment for them. Every time we see them it should not be 'What did you get for me?' and 'where are the new toys?' Mostly my kids aren't saying these things but it still kind of happens. Admittedly my kids' grandparents are getting better about this. They should know and I am sure I have told them that my kids don't need new toys (since half of Christmas is being stored in my room), and they don't need sugar either. My kids are happy to spend time on a walk to the park with their grandparents or time at the park or time playing with the toys that we already have. BUY them nothing (not without clearing it through me!). Spoil my kids with time, love, and attention not cheap toys that require more assembly than they are worth or candy that rots out their little teeth. Like I said they are getting better and I hope it will get better still, but I do think/feel that they belong in this 'accidental tradition' category.
Now that I have typed this all out I am not sure about hitting the publish button...but then again I told you I would say what I want and I told you to look out. I don't know if I am looking for suggestions on how to remedy these things that I don't like or if I am just venting, I am fairly certain that I know which things I can change and possibly even some strategies of how to change them...still haven't' decided to hit publish or just send this as an e-mail to a friend...

Because I thought it looked cool

I had a completely different post in mind and it wasn't quite as 'fluffy' and pointless as my posts have been lately but it seems to have escaped me at the moment. Which is probably a good thing since I am supposed to be cleaning house, NOT blogging.

Michael's Spring concert

This concert was a vast improvement from Christmas. The thing is, that after that there really was no where to go but up. Naturally my videos are too big for blogger and I haven't been able to get a picture on fb for months... but here is a pic of today's concert. It took place in the classroom and not the gym, I think that helped. Also the fact that it was only his class and not the entire preschool probably helped. I am proud of him, I just need to remember that he is 'only three and a half'. I will now attempt to put the videos on fb or You Tube or something.

today

was a good hair day. no, no pictures that would require locating the camera. And I have to save the batteries for Michael's Spring concert tomorrow.

one day

One day at a time. One day I will learn. One of these days...
So, Did I mention that Chris was in bed puking his guts out on Friday and when he's home it puts a cramp in my style? Whatever, I am over it now.
Saturday kids and I went to the park for an hour and a half, the weather was nice, a bit breezy but nice all the same..probably about 11-13 degrees. I meant to take the camera so that I would have something to put on here other than my whining but I forgot.
Today Chris was feeling much better and we all went to the park (a much closer one) and I remembered the camera...on the bench in the front hall. It didn't make it to the park. Another beautiful day with a bit to much cold wind whipping my face and ears though.
Kids are good I am better Chris is better too. Things are moving right along... don't know what else to say right now...

I have to get out today...do something... take pictures of something to put here...