OK so, now that I have slept on things here's what I have come up with.
I think that the title of Aunty is hollow and meaningless unless you have a connection to the child that is more than a shared bloodline or marriage. I know that for some long distance families is a part of life and it's what you are used to but guess what? I HATE IT. I want close relationships with my nephews and niece(s), believe it or not I want to have improved relationships with sisters. Remember how part of moving to this place was about other people...not the whole thing but partly...well that part of me is having trouble dying.
The laundry still didn't get folded.
The letter did get written.
I think other people should go now so that I can be angry and sad and hurt all at once because it now seems inevitable.
Don't worry, I'm just in a bad place right now, I'll get over it. If only there was someone to talk to...
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Naturally
Someone recently said something to me and then '...I come by it honestly...' I think I would use the term naturally instead but either way, it's something I can't seem to help.
Someone is expecting and I knew it, I just knew it. I didn't tell anyone how serious I was of my suspicions, but surprise not surprise they are due in March, do the math they were before they left weather they knew it or not I did. Although that doesn't really get me any closer, and it's the same non-closeness so why do I let it bother me? I should really stop it. I should probably also stop caring what's going on in other peoples uterus's...I mean really why should it matter to me?
There is a posting at my work for Permanent shift of what I am only doing casually right now, which would mean no lay off on Halloween, same everything else though. Initially I wasn't going to apply for it but now I am thinking 'why not?' I don't really have anything to loose from it, so I am writing the letter tonight.
I don't know how the big spaces showed up at the bottom of my posts since the whole new interface thing.
Michael ran cross country (1.5K) with the Gr.3 boys and got 60th place, his brother was 68th.
My back is kind of sore today. I should type meeting minutes but don't want to. There is still a load of laundry to be folded waiting for me on the couch.
Uteruses isn't a word? Is it then Uteri? hmm strange
Someone is expecting and I knew it, I just knew it. I didn't tell anyone how serious I was of my suspicions, but surprise not surprise they are due in March, do the math they were before they left weather they knew it or not I did. Although that doesn't really get me any closer, and it's the same non-closeness so why do I let it bother me? I should really stop it. I should probably also stop caring what's going on in other peoples uterus's...I mean really why should it matter to me?
There is a posting at my work for Permanent shift of what I am only doing casually right now, which would mean no lay off on Halloween, same everything else though. Initially I wasn't going to apply for it but now I am thinking 'why not?' I don't really have anything to loose from it, so I am writing the letter tonight.
I don't know how the big spaces showed up at the bottom of my posts since the whole new interface thing.
Michael ran cross country (1.5K) with the Gr.3 boys and got 60th place, his brother was 68th.
My back is kind of sore today. I should type meeting minutes but don't want to. There is still a load of laundry to be folded waiting for me on the couch.
Uteruses isn't a word? Is it then Uteri? hmm strange
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
How I do it all
How do I do it all???
Honestly so far my biggest hurdle is laundry and that was always a hurdle.
After the one terrible night of no supper I simply meal planned for the rest of the month of September, did a detailed shopping list for the 2 weeks, a little bit of prep over the weekend and Voila!
The other hurdle is making it to the gym, however I feel that my job is fairly active, certainly not replacing any workouts but not the same as laying around watching TV or playing computer games all day. Once soccer is over and the kids will be at Karate 2x/wk I can go to the gym during that time.
The house is no more or less clean or dirty.
I did just remember about a couch full of laundry I should fold before I go to bed.
I think a 3rd child would be way more work than taking the easy way out and going to work. (So those of you with 3 or more hats off to you!)
In other news:
I am pretty stoked to be going to see my sister and nephew(s) and other assorted family over Thanksgiving.
I am even more stoked for payday on Friday.
The new blogger interface is still too white for me.
More but I don't remember because now I want to go read my book and fold laundry.
Honestly so far my biggest hurdle is laundry and that was always a hurdle.
After the one terrible night of no supper I simply meal planned for the rest of the month of September, did a detailed shopping list for the 2 weeks, a little bit of prep over the weekend and Voila!
The other hurdle is making it to the gym, however I feel that my job is fairly active, certainly not replacing any workouts but not the same as laying around watching TV or playing computer games all day. Once soccer is over and the kids will be at Karate 2x/wk I can go to the gym during that time.
The house is no more or less clean or dirty.
I did just remember about a couch full of laundry I should fold before I go to bed.
I think a 3rd child would be way more work than taking the easy way out and going to work. (So those of you with 3 or more hats off to you!)
In other news:
I am pretty stoked to be going to see my sister and nephew(s) and other assorted family over Thanksgiving.
I am even more stoked for payday on Friday.
The new blogger interface is still too white for me.
More but I don't remember because now I want to go read my book and fold laundry.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Day Job
Now that I have worked a complete week of my new job I shall tell you all about it. Grrr when I push enter I want it to start me a new paragraph not the start of this line again.
I work from 9-2, it's called the Mommy shift, because that's who works it mostly. It's M-F, and it's minimum wage. I use a handheld computer to walk around a warehouse (that is so big you can't even wrap your head around it) and pick items out of boxes and place them into the box on my cart. My handheld tells me where to go, how many pieces to pick up and how many should be left behind. The warehouse if full of fancy sporty brand name clothing, shoes, and accessories (ie: quicksilver, volcom, oakley). It's not a difficult job. It requires minimal brain power, I haven't messed up enough to notice that I have a boss yet...I mean there are always people available to help me, just not anyone I perceive as my boss...there's an HR department and stuff too but like I said not a boss that I have noticed yet.
With my first paycheck (with 11 days on it) I would like to do so many things, but I think I am going to get some dental work (the bane of my existence) and maybe a payment to the Credit card that I had to use in order to buy the steel toe shoes that I have to wear to work. Lame I know, I was hoping for something more fun but for now that's it.
I work from 9-2, it's called the Mommy shift, because that's who works it mostly. It's M-F, and it's minimum wage. I use a handheld computer to walk around a warehouse (that is so big you can't even wrap your head around it) and pick items out of boxes and place them into the box on my cart. My handheld tells me where to go, how many pieces to pick up and how many should be left behind. The warehouse if full of fancy sporty brand name clothing, shoes, and accessories (ie: quicksilver, volcom, oakley). It's not a difficult job. It requires minimal brain power, I haven't messed up enough to notice that I have a boss yet...I mean there are always people available to help me, just not anyone I perceive as my boss...there's an HR department and stuff too but like I said not a boss that I have noticed yet.
With my first paycheck (with 11 days on it) I would like to do so many things, but I think I am going to get some dental work (the bane of my existence) and maybe a payment to the Credit card that I had to use in order to buy the steel toe shoes that I have to wear to work. Lame I know, I was hoping for something more fun but for now that's it.
Friday, September 09, 2011
I'm not too sure about his new interface with all the whiteness.
I got the job and start on Monday.
I awake with a headache and it's only Friday of the first short week of school.
The job is a 9-2 warehouse shift.
I am so happy that my kids go classes that they are happy with this year.
I bought steel toe boots for work, they cost $100.
When I push enter after every sentence it takes me back to the beginning of that line, not the next one, lame.
I am looking forward to my first payday in 9 years, but I think it's already spent.
I try and keep my house clean enough with the main motivation that if Nick Stokes from CSI came to my house to investigate my mysterious death he wouldn't think I was a horrid housekeeper. (I gotta go with what works for me)
That last one sounds a but Post Secret-esque...because of that I can't seem to come up with anything else.
I got the job and start on Monday.
I awake with a headache and it's only Friday of the first short week of school.
The job is a 9-2 warehouse shift.
I am so happy that my kids go classes that they are happy with this year.
I bought steel toe boots for work, they cost $100.
When I push enter after every sentence it takes me back to the beginning of that line, not the next one, lame.
I am looking forward to my first payday in 9 years, but I think it's already spent.
I try and keep my house clean enough with the main motivation that if Nick Stokes from CSI came to my house to investigate my mysterious death he wouldn't think I was a horrid housekeeper. (I gotta go with what works for me)
That last one sounds a but Post Secret-esque...because of that I can't seem to come up with anything else.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A million little thoughts
- I have a great sense of relief that comes with the thought of Laundry Tuesday being re-instated as laundry day
- For the 2nd time all summer my kids are sleeping past 7 (it's nearly 8) and there are friends going to be here at 830 and there are only 6 days left. How I wished they had figured out sleeping in sooner.
- The school called me yesterday and the number on the caller ID gave me a sigh of relief...knowing that they are there and that this 'summer break' will be ending.
- I didn't need someones facebook link to a news post to tell you that this is too long to be out of the loop...why do we hang on to an ancient system if it doesn't work anymore?
- Payday is tomorrow
- I applied for a job that in the add boasted 9-2 shifts...which is really the only reason why I applied, that and I need some cash flow
- I spent the day yesterday somewhere with backwards ass hillbillies who didn't have enough bricks put together to make a full load (if you know what I mean) and I managed not to loose my big city bitchy on them for being...what they are. It took a lot of deep breaths and I know that yesterday was the wrong time for me to attempt something like that I was NOT in the right place going in.
- I will get a grip...or maybe I just need to loosen the one I have?
Monday, July 25, 2011
Someones moving
And I am not supposed to say whom just yet. Top secret. But...since I doubt any of you know or care that much....J&A are moving to Courtney. oops I was planning on being more discreet than that.
Actually no, I wasn't.
Maybe I'll get into it one day for you or maybe I already have but for now it is what it is and it doesn't seem like it'll be a major loss for me.
Actually no, I wasn't.
Maybe I'll get into it one day for you or maybe I already have but for now it is what it is and it doesn't seem like it'll be a major loss for me.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Potter
In the interest of keeping up the happiness at home and here on the blog I shall have a brief discussion about Harry Potter.
For my children over the last 3 weeks I have been reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (aka #4). I am an excellent out loud reader, the children sit quietly while I read and it holds their attention. The trouble is that I had said we couldn't watch the movie until we had read the book, that happened tonight, I could have slowed down and stretched it out over another week but I didn't. I wish I had, because I forgot how truly choppy the movie was and how much was missing and how it didn't follow the book and I forgot to remember that that movie is the reason I have not watched another one since. The kids enjoyed it somewhat, Gabriel did express his disappointment with it, Michael claims it wasn't scary...and it wasn't really because we knew what was going to happen and it was nothing near as intense as the book.
Generally speaking though I do love Harry Potter. I thought that the guy who played Cedric Diggory looked alot like the one who plays Edward in the Twilight movies...just going off commercials (because I won't watch those either). I wonder if it's the same guy...probably not, probably there's a way to google that but I don't actually care.
For my children over the last 3 weeks I have been reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (aka #4). I am an excellent out loud reader, the children sit quietly while I read and it holds their attention. The trouble is that I had said we couldn't watch the movie until we had read the book, that happened tonight, I could have slowed down and stretched it out over another week but I didn't. I wish I had, because I forgot how truly choppy the movie was and how much was missing and how it didn't follow the book and I forgot to remember that that movie is the reason I have not watched another one since. The kids enjoyed it somewhat, Gabriel did express his disappointment with it, Michael claims it wasn't scary...and it wasn't really because we knew what was going to happen and it was nothing near as intense as the book.
Generally speaking though I do love Harry Potter. I thought that the guy who played Cedric Diggory looked alot like the one who plays Edward in the Twilight movies...just going off commercials (because I won't watch those either). I wonder if it's the same guy...probably not, probably there's a way to google that but I don't actually care.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Headaches
I have a list of things I think about blogging, and then I don't. Somehow this became my complain space again and then it looks like I am unhappy when in fact I am not unhappy.
I have a headache that woke me up this morning and I didn't even drink the bottle of wine. A pinch in my shoulder that makes me able to move like a robot. I am going to get it massaged later this morning.
Some news without complaints ~ Kids passed at school and will be moving up a grade for September... Grade 3 and 1. Both had areas of exceeding expectations, although Gabriel's had a word of caution that it might not continue if he doesn't slow down and try a bit harder.
~ We are reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire together this summer. Both of them joined the Summer Reading Club through the library.
~The Suite is vacant until late August but it is also paid for (not entirely but enough) which means that overnight guests can stay in their own space when they come...when are you coming?
~My mom was here last week and we had a good time that I am sure would have been better had it not been the last week of school and my pms time
~Mom got a ride home with the kids school principal, because she has a place in that town too
~ There are overnight guests in the suite right now. :)
~I need to do some Pampered Chef business this month, I mean get real about it and stop coasting because someones spending habits need me to.
~ We are going camping in just over a week and I am excited to see some long lost friends.
~ I have got my tan 'on'. and sitting or laying in the sun really helps me to feel good
My company has just woken up so I am off to hostess :D
I have a headache that woke me up this morning and I didn't even drink the bottle of wine. A pinch in my shoulder that makes me able to move like a robot. I am going to get it massaged later this morning.
Some news without complaints ~ Kids passed at school and will be moving up a grade for September... Grade 3 and 1. Both had areas of exceeding expectations, although Gabriel's had a word of caution that it might not continue if he doesn't slow down and try a bit harder.
~ We are reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire together this summer. Both of them joined the Summer Reading Club through the library.
~The Suite is vacant until late August but it is also paid for (not entirely but enough) which means that overnight guests can stay in their own space when they come...when are you coming?
~My mom was here last week and we had a good time that I am sure would have been better had it not been the last week of school and my pms time
~Mom got a ride home with the kids school principal, because she has a place in that town too
~ There are overnight guests in the suite right now. :)
~I need to do some Pampered Chef business this month, I mean get real about it and stop coasting because someones spending habits need me to.
~ We are going camping in just over a week and I am excited to see some long lost friends.
~ I have got my tan 'on'. and sitting or laying in the sun really helps me to feel good
My company has just woken up so I am off to hostess :D
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Fathers Day
Briefly I will say that yes I love my dad and have an excellent relation ship with him and all that jazz, also that I love my husband and the father that he is to our children, but this post isn't going to be about that.
This is about me.
I can't stand ridiculous 'traditions' that mean early morning crumbs in bed and photos of sleepy barely pyjama-ed people in my bedroom. I don't like it when it's my turn to sleep in and await breakfast in bed, I don't even like breakfast usually so why would I want it as early as that and in my bed?!
My children were loud this morning, like every other morning, I got up with them, fed them shushed them incessantly to 'let daddy sleep'... I think breakfast in bed is dumb, I know that he didn't really want it and he ate it anyway (like I am often forced to do) but why build the phony? Shouldn't the kids know that the only real gift they can give us is their silence in the morning? They chose oatmeal and toast for him, just sounds so heavy to me, I guess it doesn't matter as it is not my day. I need to re-work these Special days. because right now I don't feel like anything great happened because I couldn't even drink my coffee before I had to help make the breakfast and carry the try...guess what that means? it means I was cranky, I like 5 minutes to myself in the morning and I am only just getting that now, 2 hours later, it's going to take a lot of work to fix up my attitude for the entire day... and what does it really matter since he had to go off to work anyway?
This is about me.
I can't stand ridiculous 'traditions' that mean early morning crumbs in bed and photos of sleepy barely pyjama-ed people in my bedroom. I don't like it when it's my turn to sleep in and await breakfast in bed, I don't even like breakfast usually so why would I want it as early as that and in my bed?!
My children were loud this morning, like every other morning, I got up with them, fed them shushed them incessantly to 'let daddy sleep'... I think breakfast in bed is dumb, I know that he didn't really want it and he ate it anyway (like I am often forced to do) but why build the phony? Shouldn't the kids know that the only real gift they can give us is their silence in the morning? They chose oatmeal and toast for him, just sounds so heavy to me, I guess it doesn't matter as it is not my day. I need to re-work these Special days. because right now I don't feel like anything great happened because I couldn't even drink my coffee before I had to help make the breakfast and carry the try...guess what that means? it means I was cranky, I like 5 minutes to myself in the morning and I am only just getting that now, 2 hours later, it's going to take a lot of work to fix up my attitude for the entire day... and what does it really matter since he had to go off to work anyway?
Thursday, June 16, 2011
8
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| Zero |
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| Two |
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| Three |
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| Four |
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| Five |
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| Six |
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| Seven |
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| Eight |
*We didn't own a digital Camera in 2004.
...and he seems a lot bigger now.
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Friday, June 03, 2011
I used to be really good at giving myself up for friends, like saying the right things when they are upset. Today I noticed I wasn't doing that for someone and I wish I had but what I am pretty sure it comes down to is that I don't have anything to give right now. I am tapped out. I thought I was going to type it all out and that's what I'd usually do but I am not ready for that or I am past the window of opportunity. Whatever the case may be I remember that I am fine and OK with the choices I make.
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Camping
Reasons why I'd rather be camping:
- Chris is there and not at work
- There is not computers (and I don't have the self control at home when it's right here)
- There is no fighting kids about video games, because there are none
- Fresh air
- Junk food
- Friends and Family
- Booze
- Good night hugs from a group of people (don't get me wrong I love how much of a hugger my husband is but sometimes it's nice to get hugs from friends too...without having to ask for them, because if I am at the point of asking then it's too late and I am crying)
- Kids freedom...they play like wild animals in the forest or ride bikes to the other side without supervision, it builds their independence and I <3 it.
- no cell phone service
- no laundry to do
- no dirty floors to wash
- Out door games
- afternoon siestas in the open air
- marshmallows
- night fires
- kids play getting dirty and I don't stress about the mess in the house because there isn't one!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Dirty little vent
Nothing ever changes! Somehow no matter my efforts there will not be any summer camps for the boys. Not even the 'cheaper' ones. (oh an somebody who will soon be 8 wants a birthday party that isn't at home $$$)
I guess I am still hanging around with people who are way out of my league...I am not so acutely aware of it as when it come time to pay for stuff.
It doesn't seem to matter that the suite downstairs is occupied. It makes no difference that I am working the Pampered Chef thing. There still isn't any more $$.
The price of food keeps getting higher and because of that I think the quality of what we are eating is getting lower (since its cheaper).
BTW I made nearly $400 from the Pampered Chef in April...do you know what I got for it? Brakes in the van. woohoo we can drive around safely. I like that there is 'something' to show for it but I would have preferred that it be a lower MC balance or a savings account with $$ in it.
I guess I just have to keep on trucking...pulling up the bootstraps isn't working and out belts are as tight as they will go.
I guess I am still hanging around with people who are way out of my league...I am not so acutely aware of it as when it come time to pay for stuff.
It doesn't seem to matter that the suite downstairs is occupied. It makes no difference that I am working the Pampered Chef thing. There still isn't any more $$.
The price of food keeps getting higher and because of that I think the quality of what we are eating is getting lower (since its cheaper).
BTW I made nearly $400 from the Pampered Chef in April...do you know what I got for it? Brakes in the van. woohoo we can drive around safely. I like that there is 'something' to show for it but I would have preferred that it be a lower MC balance or a savings account with $$ in it.
I guess I just have to keep on trucking...pulling up the bootstraps isn't working and out belts are as tight as they will go.
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